I Guess It's Death Or Forever
by MellarkMania103
Summary: Peeta Mellark was chosen for the 73 Hunger Games, and he tells his tale of love. Yet he leaves out one important fact, her name. She hears his confession and has the same feelings in her heart. When all finally seems to be going right, Katniss is shoved into the games. Can he save her? Will true love really conquer all? Note: Gale is not in this story, he never existed
1. Chapter 1: The Interview

Hello fellow fan-people! This is my second story and I am taking a big step, Peeta's perspective. I can only hope I will do my favorite character of all time justice, please give me any and all feedback on that subject. I will warn you now, there are going to be time gaps, they time frame I have in mind for this story will have two maybe if it really gets going three games, and I can't write that many. So there will be chunks of the boring stuff you all know left out. I am going to write the meat of my rendition on this story and hope you enjoy. I was inspired by the fanfiction "Saving the Boy" by Embracing-Immensity. It is wonderful and I have read it several times, one of the first ones I read and it really stayed with me. I flipped the roles in "Saving the Boy" and added my own spin to it, and changed the time frames. I will stop rambling now and just get to the story. I hope you enjoy and please comment below!

NOTE: I AM LEAVING GALE OUT OF MY STORY, I HAVE TOO MUCH DRAMA ALREADY PLANNED. GALE NEVER HAPPENED

I own nothing the characters belong to the goddess which is Suzanne Collins.

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><p>Chapter 1- The Interview<p>

I try to keep my eyes open as Effie explains the importance of good posture to me for over an hour. We've been through posture, tone of voice, and how to walk on and off the stage. Effie is nice enough, but I am really not into this kind of stuff and its really hard to stay awake and remember it all. My fellow tribute Ness was up all night crying, I knocked on her door to see if I could help. She asked me to play cards with her all night, I haven't had sleep in over 34 hours. Just as I'm about to nod off completely, she tells me we have a lunch break. I run straight to my room for a nap.

An hour later I hear a soft knock on the head board, and look up to see Ness.

"Hello Ness," I say as I yawn and stretch out,

"Hi Peeta, it's your turn with Haymitch and he is getting another drink to take with him so I would hurry up." I like Ness, she is kind and really good natured. She lived across the street from me, in the florists shop. My brother is actually engaged to her older sister. I thank her and rush to brush my teeth and meet up with Haymitch. I join him in his room and it reeks of alcohol and the contents of his stomach. He gives me a glare as I hesitate at his door, debating wether I really want to go in, and motions for me to sit in the chair opposite him.

"This is how this is going to work. I am going to ask you questions and your going to answer them. If I don't like the answer I will change it. After we will think of an angle for you. Got it?" I nod quickly. "Good," he finishes before he takes a big gulp of his drink. He asks a few basic questions then he asks the question I don't want to answer. "Do you have a girlfriend?" I tell him no I don't, but he gives me an odd look like he knows. Like he knows I have feelings for Katniss.

"She isn't your girlfriend, but who is she?" he says in a softer voice then he has used with me since I've met him. I take a deep breath and clear my head.

"Her name is Katniss. Katniss Everdeen. I go to school with her and have had a crush on her since I first saw her. She is strong and determined. I just don't want to say anything about her because I don't want her involved."  
>He just sits there looking at me and thinking, then like a spark in the back of his mind his eyes light up and he sets his drink down.<p>

"I've got it." He almost shouts. We then go about planning and plotting on how we are going to get me out of the games. There are a few moments I think I surprise him on the fact that I'm not just a boy who can decorate cakes.

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><p>Portia has dressed me in a sleek black tux that has a fire design going up the arm and legs. They are still playing off of our costumes at the tribute parade. I was the boy on fire, and apparently people took notice of me. I watch Ness' interview in which she talks about her older sister and how she really wants to go back to see her get married. I really hope she does see her sister get married, but it's my brother getting married too and I want to get back too. I hate these games even more than I used to. The host of the interviews Caesar Flickerman introduces me and the crowd goes wild, which I am really surprised at. I try to hide my shock as I walk onto the stage showing 'confidence and elegance' as Effie put it. I shake his hand and we take a seat, I try to remember the plan before we start.<p>

"So Peeta how are you finding the Capitol? And don't say with a map," he says. I laugh lightly at his joke and try to continue to banter.

"Well, the showers here are different."

"Our showers? How so?"

"Tell me Caesar, do I smell like roses to you?" I lean close to him as if to tell him to smell, he does and asks the same of me. We all have a good laugh and joke for a minute more when we both know the time has come for him to ask this question. Haymitch told me he caught Caesar in the hallway and told him to ask it. "So Peeta, you must have a girl back home."

"No, there's no one," I'm not supposed to blush but it just kind of happens when I think of her. Caesar smiles at me and continues to prod.

"Oh come now, a handsome lad like you must have some girl," I think for a moment then know what I have to say.

"Well, there is this one girl, I've had a crush on forever. But I bet she didn't realize who I was until I went into the games."

"Tell you what, you win this thing and you go back to her. She'll have to take you. Why don't you tell her right now?" He laughs and the crowd applauds in agreement.

"Well, she would never think it would be her. The only thing that she would know would be the bread, the burnt bread." Caesar lets it go seeing as I won't give her name, but according to Haymitch the seed is set. A bug in the back of the people's minds as to who my mystery girl is. I told him I didn't think it would work, but I have to trust him. And I just hope Katniss doesn't take it the wrong way.


	2. Chapter 2: Reaction

Hello! I know that no one is probably reading this note, but it would honestly mean the world to me if you reviewed! It makes an authors day, truly! If anyone has any suggestions on where you want this story to go I am open to opinions! Please review it means the world! Hope you enjoy the chapter

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><p>Chapter 2: The Reaction (Katniss POV)<p>

As soon as I saw Peeta walk up to the stage of the Justice Building I knew that I liked him. It was a strange sensation which came over me, a feeling of loss that I guess could only be filled by him. I don't know, when his name was called I thought it was guilt but when I saw him I knew. I always did keep an eye on him, made sure he was ok. Made sure he had no bruises or cuts that could have been a result of his mother. Ever since he threw me the bread when I was starving in the rain, and when I saw the dandelions outside of school I knew there was something about him. I did go to see him before he left but the number of people going to see him left me with no time, with too many words unsaid. I think of all of this as I watch him talk with Caesar on the television. My mother went to watch the games in the square with Prim, I just wanted to be alone when I saw him.

Caesar asks him about a girl and I immediately become jealous of the pink that comes to his cheeks so quickly. I want to be the reason for the pink, but why would I? I don't talk to him, we don't interact much. He probably has some merchant girl in mind. But he doesn't say her name, and Caesar keeps asking, I think he is going to just blurt it out when he says the only thing I never thought I'd hear.

"Well, she would never think it would be her. The only thing that she would know would be the bread, the burnt bread." I stop breathing and try to take it in. He means me, me the closed off Seam girl who did a science project with him once in the third grade. Me the girl who was starving and was saved by the boy who is about to go into an arena of death. I try to breathe and can't so I run for the woods, but make it to the meadow when I decide. I have to talk to him. I run for the bakery when I focus on why I found out about is feelings for me. I stop and sit on the ground, and think. I can't write to Peeta and I can't just call him on a phone I don't have one. That's when my plan comes into place. I go down the the Justice building and ask to see the head peacekeeper. Cray comes out of a room and asks me what I need.

"I am watching over Haymitch Abernathy's house while he is away. And I have a serious question for him regarding it. I was wondering if I could give him a quick call?" Cray thinks about it, and nods his head. He walks into the room he came from and motions me in, he almost falls over too. He must be drunk, I never thought I would like alcohol, I finally see the light of the invention.

He grabs the phone on his desk and types in some numbers, then asks for mentor of District 12.

"Mr. Abernathy? Hello, I have a girl here named Katniss Everdeen who needs to talk to you about your house." He waits a moment and then hands the phone to me, "don't take too long," he warns and leaves the room.

"Mr. Abernathy, I," he cuts me off and tells me to call him Haymitch. "Haymitch, I am Peeta's girl and I need to talk to him."

"He is right here next to me, you only have a few minutes, be quick." I hear some shuffling and I try to mumble thanks into the receiver.

"Hello?" I hear his sweet voice and I melt like I used to when he gave presentations in school.

"Peeta? It's me Katniss."

"Katniss?" he answers astonished. "Katniss I'm so sorry for what I said if you don't," I cut him off.

"Peeta I called to tell you if you were talking about me, that I feel the same." There is a long silence before he talks again.

"You do?"

"Yea, I actually came to see you before you left but, so many people came to see you I was pushed to the back and you left before I had time to tell you that I want you to come home. Home to, to me." I stutter out the ending because I've never opened up to anyone before. But I can't hold back because I may never see him again.

"Katniss, I'll try to. I promise."

"Please come home Peeta. I've lost enough people who I care far too much for, please come home." He pauses and I can tell he has a smile on his face when he responds.

"I will Katniss, just be there waiting for me?" I nod into the phone when I realize he can't see me.

"Right at the station, no matter what." I wish him well and he wishes me goodnight. We then just sit there not saying anything and listening to each other breathe for a moment before Haymitch, from what I can tell, yanks the phone away from Peeta.

"Listen sweetheart, don't tell anyone about this, don't go broadcasting that you and the boy have feelings for each won't help anyone, trust me. Now go home and I'll call back for you if there is anything you need to know."

"Bring him home Haymitch." With that I hang up the phone and thank Cray for letting me use it when I exit his office. The walk home seems to last a lifetime, because I can't stop thinking about him. How he might never come home. I swore to myself never to get married or have kids. Not that we are but, there is an undeniable connection that I've felt for a long time and am finally realizing what it is.

I never believed in any sort of divine force, but tonight when my mother and Prim are sleeping soundly, I pray. I pray that he comes home, I pray that we are happy. Not just me and him but everyone, that there can be peace. No hunger games, no nonsensical killing of children. I pray that all the wrongs go away, but who am I kidding? There will be another hunger games, another batch of children slaughtered, another soul damaged beyond repair. Tonight I pray for that to all go away, or at least bring me a moment when it can all go away. But for that moment, I need Peeta. So I guess what I'm really praying for is for him to come home.

Please please bring him home


	3. Chapter 3: Coming Home (3 weeks later)

Hello Everyone! This chapter skips all of Peeta's Games, since that is not the main part of the story line, its just a necessary event that I don't want to get into. If you want me to write a one-shot of it, I'd be happy to do that, just comment and let me know. This is when they meet again for the first time after confessing their feelings over the phone. I also want to thank a guest reader (Perceabeth 101) who left the nicest review, and I hope that this chapter will make sure you don't have to lock yourself in a closet. Hope you enjoy, and as always please review!

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><p>Chapter 3: Coming Home (three weeks later)<p>

As the train begins to slow, my heart begins to race. I'm home, finally I'm home. I get to see my family again, get to be back in the bakery doing what I love, and I also get to see Katniss again which I guess is pretty spectacular. I've been trying not to think about it too much, I didn't want to get my hopes up in case she was just saying it so that I could die a happy man. Haymitch puts an arm around me and asks what I'm thinking so damn intently about.

"I just hope its real. I hope she wasn't lying to me."

"Boy, listen to me," he holds my shoulders so I'm forced to look at him. "I called for her again after you went in there, making sure she was safe and no one came for her. She loves you, Peeta. Just remember what we talked about. When you get out, don't go running up to her, don't call to her. Just pretend she is another friend waiting at the station. Got it?" He gives me a stern look, knowing that I would blow the cover and ruin her life as well as mine, not that mine is in such great shape already. I've been to hell, and barely escaped with my life. I should be thankful that I am in this position, trying to control myself from running like a mad man to the woman I love.

The train finally stops and gives a hearty whistle, letting us and everyone know that we are home. Being the first Victor in 24 years I am kind of scared of the reaction I might get. Will they think less of me since I have killed innocent people? Will she think less of me? Effie is hurrying us along, and whispering that she hopes to meet my special friend and gives me a very public wink about it. I can only hope that I can get a moment alone with her today. Haymitch said that she will be at his house right after we leave the station, going to 'welcome him home' since she apparently cleaned his house while he was away.

First Effie walks out, then Haymitch followed by me. There are so many people, I didn't know that many people lived in Twelve. They all smile and cheer when I come out. I quickly scan the crowd, I see my family. My brothers and father look happier than I've ever seen them. Even my mother doesn't look so full of hatred. I keep looking and I see Ness' family. Her older sister, is holding her mother, crying that it isn't her daughter steeping off the train. I've dreamed about Ness every moment since she died, I just an grateful I wasn't the one who did it. She died in the initial bloodbath, before I could get to her to save her, she was gone. I keep looking and I see Prim and right next to her, with the biggest smile on her face is Katniss. She looks like the sun, eyes bright despite them being the color of a winter storm. Her hair is in it's trademark braid and I wish I could go run up to her, undo that braid and run my hands through her hair while I kiss her. I take an involuntary step forward when Haymitch coughs beside me.

Soon the crowd begins to leave and I am allowed to leave as well. When I look to see if she is still here, only Prim and her mother remain, and Katniss is nowhere to be seen. The camera people had been quite mad that they did not in fact find out who my mystery woman was. Haymitch simply stated that "I think the boy needs to speak with her before you get to," he took my arm and guided me home. I stopped by the bakery and Haymitch told me to meet him in Victor's Village when I was ready.

My brothers leapt upon me and wouldn't let me go until my father asked for a hug from his son. I was so glad that my family actually missed me. I can't count the number of times my mother has called me her worst mistake. I sometimes wondered if they all thought that. My mother came up to me embracing my father and simply tapped my shoulder. I looked up at her and wondered if she'd slap me for killing people. After a moment of silence she took a deep breath and did something she has never done. She hugged me.

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><p>I ran as fast as I could to Victors Village, everyone I passed just smiled at me, knowing exactly what I was doing. I was going to see her, even if they didn't know who 'she' was, they just knew. My legs couldn't stretch long enough, my heart couldn't beat fast enough. The time it took for me to get to her was agonizing. When I finally reached the house, I stopped. I didn't run up the steps but slowly walked up them. I knocked three times on the large door and took a deep breath. I could hear a lock being undone and when the door opened and my heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't her. Haymitch pulled me inside and locked the door quickly and pointed towards the study next to the kitchen. I almost began a run but he held my arm and I gave him the dirtiest glare I think I've ever used. "Use protection," he stated simply. My face must be blood red, because I don't think he could be laughing so hard if it wasn't.<p>

I knocked simply on the door and when it opened, there she was. A smile grew on her face as well as on mine as she launched herself into my embrace after taking in the sight of me. In that moment, I was blissfully happy. After just getting out of hell, I realize that heaven has been waiting for me in District Twelve the whole time. She pulled away slightly and asked "Are you really here? Are you actually home?" I could only smile at her and say "I made you a promise and I intended to keep it."

I push a strand of hair that has fallen out of her braid behind her ear, I take her face in my hands and I kiss her. I don't even care if she was lying or not, I don't want to find out just yet. Right now she is mine, and I am hers and that's all that matters. The kiss is soft and sweet at first, but then it turns into a hunger deep down inside of me that I've never felt before. Lust. The kiss turns raging and passionate in an instant and before I know it I slide my tongue into her mouth and she eagerly lets me. We kiss until we both absolutely can't stand it and need air. She rests her forehead on mine and our breaths intertwine. I just gaze into her eyes as she keeps looking between my eyes and my lips.

"Katniss, I have to ask. Is this real? Are you really here, standing with me, kissing me? Is this real, or am I still in the arena dreaming of this moment?" I blurt it out, it doesn't feel real, it feels too good to be real. She only smiles and looks into my eyes, runs her hands through my hair, and plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Yes Peeta, this is real. I never thought I'd see you again. I never, never thought I'd ever feel this strongly about someone" she stutters out. She grows quiet and blushes a bit at the end. "I think, I, I think I've loved you since we were kids but it took me seeing you going to your death for me to realize it." She looks almost ashamed of this. Now my turn to kiss her forehead, to reassure her that it's ok. The fact that she is with me now when I need her the most, thats all I could really ask for.

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><p>We ended up spending the rest of the day in that study just enjoying each other's company and really getting to know one another. I told her about the games, and she told me about how Twelve has been since I left. I feel like I can tell her everything, everything I felt in that arena, all the pain and torments I endured in my head. I told her that I didn't want the Games to change me, I wanted to come out still being me in the end.<p>

We find a way to be able to see each other without revealing that we are together. Her mother and sister don't even know, but she says that her sister probably does, just because she is so intuitive. She will continue under the premise that she now works for Haymitch, he even promises to pay her to make it believable. Of course she was reluctant to take the money at first, but a little convincing and bartering to actually do some cleaning she accepts. She is happier than I have seen her in a long time. She doesn't have to struggle and break the law to keep her family alive. I would like to think that I am also part of her happiness, because she is the only thing keeping me from going insane and turning into Haymitch.

My family is still going to live at the bakery, my father refused to let anyone but me live there. He apologized to me that I have to live alone, but he said he didn't want my mother to take advantage of my new fortune when she has treated me so poorly throughout the years. And I'm ok with living alone, more time to bake and pain. My brothers stay over a lot of the time so it's nice to be there without our parents to watch over us.

I'm also learning to be normal, I have terrible nightmares of the evils that I saw and did in the arena. Katniss really helps me through it, she sometimes stays with me until I fall asleep just running her fingers through my hair and humming a sweet song. It helps, just the have her around, but the fact that she loves me too, well, I couldn't ask for more. But in the end, I could ask for a lot more.


	4. Preview of Chapter 4

Hello all! This is just a little preview of the next chapter! I am working hard on it but want to give it all the attention I can. I have become a little busy lately so I will update about once a week. I can't even begin to thank everyone for the reviews and favorites. I hope you all enjoy this preview! The whole thing should be coming within a few days.

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><p>Chapter 4: Preview<p>

As the Victory Tour begins to draw near, I realize just how drastically my life has changed. I never have to worry about being reaped for the Games ever again, I have more money than I could ever need, and the biggest change by far is that the girl I love, is in love with me too. It's been three months since I returned home and the two of us could not be happier. She goes to Haymitch's house everyday to clean up his drunken messes and to make sure he isn't lying on broken bottles covered in his own bodily contentens. After making sure he is alive, she comes over to my house, I usually cook her lunch then we go into my study where I draw or paint and we just talk. Before the afternoon is over we do end up making out on the couch, but with a heart full of love I bid her goodnight and she leaves, checks on Haymitch one last time and goes back home. She does still go to school but she manages to leave from time to time, since we never learn anything of importance, just how the Capitol is always right and how we need to pay homage to it anytime we can. I'm so glad I never have to go back.

Although I guess the reason I try to think about all of this is to get my mind off that fact that the Victory Tour is in a week. That means one whole week back in the spotlight of the Capitol, one whole week of the entire country trying to find out who my "mystery" woman is, and most importantly one whole week away from Katniss, where I cannot protect her from the Capitols sharp eye. We have grown so close over these past few months that the thought of being away from her for too long scares me. I can't lose her, I would never be able to be truly happy again. Soon there is a light melodic tapping at the door, Katniss. I open the door and before I know it her arms are around me and I spinning her while our mouths have a dance of their own.

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><p>I would like to give a special note to "Guest" reviewer Perceabeth 101, I would love it if you had an account so I could PM you! I hate that we can't talk and I just get to hear from you through reviews!<p> 


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